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Title: Complicate Me (The Good Ol’ Boys)
Author: Best Selling Author M. ROBINSON
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Day: September 14th
Cover Design: Rebecca Marie at The Final Wrap
It was complicated, it was
also just the beginning.
A decision.
A simple choice.
There is always that one
moment in life where things could have been different. That one moment where
you could have chosen a path that would lead you down a certain road.
A different life.
It was easier to pretend that
we were still best friends, and that she was my girl and I was her boy.
Pretending was better than
knowing the truth...
I. Ruined. Us.
I had her.
I lost her.
I love her.
All I did was complicate us.
My brown eyed girl sat on our
blankets with her arms wrapped around her knees, hiding her face. The tiny
frame that I adored so much shook uncontrollably, only heightening the deepest
sobbing that escalated with each passing second. It was such an intimate
moment, not to be shared with anyone, especially me. Alex didn’t cry. I watched
her bawl for the first time in my life. I had never seen anyone cry like that
before, and it shook me to my core, slicing me whole, and making me feel like I
was dying. Carving a memory that I would take to my grave.
There was no going back…
No erasing.
No do overs.
No deleting.
What I witnessed tonight
would be my purgatory; I would now close my eyes and forever see her falling
apart in front of me. Shattering before my very own eyes and I found it hard to
breathe.
Hard to move.
My feet were glued to the
goddamn floor as she continued to weep, sob, bawl, violently sucking in air
that wasn’t available. I accepted it all; each tear that fell from her face
becoming pieces of me. Circulating through my veins and blood, it flowed
endlessly, a river of her sadness and sorrow and of my broken promises. No
beginning or ending to her cries, just an infinite current, flooding the hole
where my heart should be. The shadow of her trembling petite body reflected off
the walls, leaving a trail of regrets in its wake.
Mine.
Hers.
Ours.
Growing up in a small town
you overheard a lot of things. People talking, stories told, town gossip. You
listened a lot. You learned a lot. Tourists, townies, friends, and especially
family all shared wisdom and advice that you think you will never need.
Bunch of bullshit.
They say you have that one
moment in life where things could have been different, that one moment that
changes the course of your life or the direction you could have taken. That one
moment that could forever change you and everything you wanted to be true,
everything you wanted to believe.
One simple decision could
alter your entire future.
My entire world.
I would forever remember this
moment for the rest of my life. This is the moment that changed everything.
This is the moment where I took another direction, another road that led me to
my own demise.
My own regrets.
I should have walked in
there. I should have apologized. I should have begged for her forgiveness. I
should have promised that I would never hurt her again. I should have done
whatever it took to make her look at me the way she had our entire lives.
But I didn’t…
I did none of those things…
Not one.
Nothing was said between us.
No words.
No actions.
I was a coward and couldn’t
do it. I couldn’t see her like that. I couldn’t look into her eyes and know
that I had hurt her. That I had disappointed her. That I ruined her love and
lost her respect for me.
The boy who promised he would
never hurt her.
The boy who swore he would
always protect her.
The boy who vowed he would
never let anything happen to her.
That same boy was me.
I was the reason she was
bawling.
I was the reason she was
hurt.
I was the reason she was
broken.
She knew the truth. It had
finally caught up to me… I shattered her illusion that I was hers. I ruined the
one good thing I had in my life. The girl that owned my heart was bleeding out
for me in a way that I had never seen before. The house was no longer our safe
place.
I had brought my hurricane
with me…
I couldn’t risk the
possibility of losing her permanently if I walked in there and admitted my
truths. She wouldn’t love me anymore, she wouldn’t look at me the same anymore,
and she wouldn’t be mine anymore.
My brown eyed girl.
The girl that I had loved all
of my life.
The same girl that I would
love for the rest of my life.
Alexandra.
I gave her the only comfort I
could in her moment of despair. I turned around and left. I walked down the
stairs and got into my truck. I turned the engine on and drove my sorry ass
home. I took a shower and never once looked at myself in the mirror. I
pretended that nothing changed. That I didn’t cause her pain, and that she
didn’t know the truth. That I didn’t see her sobbing and that she wasn’t even
bawling to begin with. That we were still just best friends, and that she was
my girl and I was her boy.
My Half-Pint and her Bo.
It was better than knowing…
I ruined us.
Best
Selling Author M. Robinson loves to read. She favors anything that has angst,
romance, triangles, cheating, love, and of course sex! She has been reading
since the Babysitters Club and R.L. Stein.
She
was born in New Jersey but was raised in Tampa Fl. She is currently pursuing
her Ph.D in psychology, with two years left.
She
is married to an amazing man who she loves to pieces. They have two German
Shepherd mixes and a Tabby cat.
